It pays to complain

In my darker and more cynical moments, I can be heard prattling on about Americans and the way they eat whatever is put in front of them. Our culture is one of power players attempting to influence the not-so-powerful to think, feel and behave in a certain way. Most often, it’s because there is some money to be made. The system is horrible for most, because people are brainwashed into thinking that they don’t have a choice in the life they live, the products they buy and the corporations they buy them from. As an outgrowth of that brainwashing, a great number of people won’t rock the boat, so to speak. They’ll accept poor service or substandard merchandise, saying “What are ya gonna do?”

You know what I do? I complain. The amazing thing about the homogenization of the American marketplace is that most big businesses dominating it are run with what I’ll call “big balance syndrome.” If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to have a large balance in your checking account, you may have found that certain digits in the figures started to drop from your list of concerns. Big balance syndrome. For example, assume that you have over $25,000 in your account. The balance in your checkbook says that you have $25,477. Now assume that after balancing, the bank says that you have $25,389. Many would only be concerned if the number dropped below $25,000, and don’t worry too much about the discrepancy. The discrepancy in this case adds up to $88. If you have $100 in your account, there’s a whole lot of living to be done on $88, but because they’re doing so well, many people with $25,000 won’t chase it down. That’s what American big business does on the consumer level, only with millions of dollars keeping them stupid. The numbers are too high to worry about that $88. That’s why it’s pretty easy to make a play for it. How?

The marketing of big American business often includes some insulting hyperbole about customer service being the first priority, and that the company appreciates your business. It’s just talk though, especially from people like electric companies, who truly have no competition if you can’t avoid a solar conversion. More often than not, when I ask a company’s agent behind the counter or on the telephone to hold up to the supposed ideal, they have no script, no plan. The first reaction can be to start handing over that $88 to you. It doesn’t mean much to them, because most people won’t complain and it’s worth it to buy off the headache being created by this weird guy.

Here are some examples:

My first nephew was born back in the 90s. In visiting with him when he was a baby, I had occasion to share Social Tea cookies with him. Someone thought they were decent baby cookies. I hadn’t had them before and I rather liked them. I started to buy them myself. Over time, I noticed how often they would be broken by the time I got to open the package. Enjoying writing letters and such, I wrote to the president (always to the president) of Nabisco, the manufacturer. In my most creative and desperate language, I opined about the quality control at their plant. I continued by explaining how distressing it was to be purchasing broken cookies every week, and how embarrassing it had been for me, trying to serve Social Teas in halves. They thought I was an old lady. I would have to be, right? The letter I received from Nabsico had “Ms.” and “Ma’am” all over it and was enclosed with coupons for free boxes of Social Teas.

I bought a pair of Bass shoes once. Within a very short time, the sole had separated at the back of one of them, forming a “mouth” that would flap when I walked. Maybe they weren’t that expensive, but I expected them to last a year, not a few months. I wrote to the president of the company and explained how humiliating it had been to have a certain attractive young lady in my office laugh uncontrollably at the quality of my footwear. I continued by telling him how I’d tossed the receipt after I bought the shoes, but wanted to know what could be done. I also asked him why I shouldn’t tell everyone that would listen never to buy Bass shoes because of the quality problem. I got free shoes.

The killer is this one. Last year, I had H&R Block prepare our tax returns. They jacked up the New York State return and somehow, it was never filed electronically. After months and months had passed without receiving a refund check, I looked into it. What followed was the most infuriating buck passing act I had ever seen. In the process, I observed some of the most blatant disregard of “customer policy” of any company I’d ever done business with. I wrote another letter, to the president of H&R Block, of course, and described the ordeal. I included every conceivable detail about the cretins in the local office, how they had trivialized my concerns and despite the exorbitant cost of the preparation, made my returns and refunds my problem, not theirs. Within a week, I had district managers calling me. In another week, things started to move along. Before long, I got my New York State refund and a coupon for free tax preparation from H&R block for my 2006 returns. With all the special tax situations I end up in with self-employment and filing in multiple states, it’s going to save me about $350 this year. All for writing a letter.

The moral is that you should always complain. If you want something for your trouble, ask for it. Online retailers are especially flexible. There’s plenty of money, products and service in the budget of most big companies to keep up appearances. If more people did what I do, that budget would disappear, but the companies would be more accountable. Either way, everybody would win. Give it try next time you feel slighted as a customer. There might be $88 in it for you.

Just follow the bass part

I used to pride myself on listing all of the things that I could do. I’m a musician, recording artist, writer, videographer, producer, recording engineer, an Aquarius. Christ. Anything else? Who is it that I was trying to impress? Probably just about everyone. Why was that so important? (Psychologically-speaking, I know why, but that’s not the point at the moment…) After the initial novelty of hearing my resume, I gather that most people returned immediately to resting mode, not caring much about it at all. So how many people did I manage to impress? One or two that I can remember. How many did I exhaust? I don’t know. Maybe everyone. I know I was tired. If you’re trying to impress others by overwhelming them, you have to keep topping yourself in order to impress them again and again. Especially if being impressive is your m.o. How many times can you blow the same person’s mind before you collapse in a heap, let alone the mind of everyone you meet? And what a terrible bore it is to have be terrific all the time!

I find that while I’m proud of my abilities as a multi-instrumentalist, it might have been better if I’d have just stayed with my first passion, the electric bass. Instead of that, I systematically learned every other instrument I could get my hands on. I soon became proficient enough to record albums all by myself. I needed no one’s help to realize my visions. On the surface, it sounds great. The reality of it however, is that if enough people see you doing anything alone, they get the idea that you don’t need anyone at all, including them. Not even to listen. So what was the point of making the music in the first place? Good question.

I could take a great deal of symbolic direction from the bass. You must have other musicians to work with if that’s your instrument. If that was the instrument that I chose, it speaks volumes about what my musical intentions were in the first place. The intentions were lost in trying to be impressive and superhuman. Somehow I got the idea that being superhuman was important. It isn’t. It isn’t any fun either. It leads directly to madness on many levels. No one with any real success has achieved that success in total isolation. No matter what Gene Simmons says, he didn’t do it. Not by himself.

I’ve taken recently to making it clear that which I cannot do. I’ve added to the list of things I cannot do, the things that I might be able to do with enough effort, but bring misery and distraction. A great example is web design. I hate web design. It’s a black hole of time for me. All I ever want to do is make my music or writing available on the Internet and before you know it, I’m completely submerged in code, exhausted and frustrated. I don’t want to be a web designer. That’s why I use somebody’s template to do this blog. I wanted to post writings and ramblings, not learn about feeds, syndication and php scripting. So I didn’t.

What a great thing it is to be human. It’s even better to do one thing well. These are goals I want to achieve in my lifetime.