It pays to complain

In my darker and more cynical moments, I can be heard prattling on about Americans and the way they eat whatever is put in front of them. Our culture is one of power players attempting to influence the not-so-powerful to think, feel and behave in a certain way. Most often, it’s because there is some money to be made. The system is horrible for most, because people are brainwashed into thinking that they don’t have a choice in the life they live, the products they buy and the corporations they buy them from. As an outgrowth of that brainwashing, a great number of people won’t rock the boat, so to speak. They’ll accept poor service or substandard merchandise, saying “What are ya gonna do?”

You know what I do? I complain. The amazing thing about the homogenization of the American marketplace is that most big businesses dominating it are run with what I’ll call “big balance syndrome.” If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to have a large balance in your checking account, you may have found that certain digits in the figures started to drop from your list of concerns. Big balance syndrome. For example, assume that you have over $25,000 in your account. The balance in your checkbook says that you have $25,477. Now assume that after balancing, the bank says that you have $25,389. Many would only be concerned if the number dropped below $25,000, and don’t worry too much about the discrepancy. The discrepancy in this case adds up to $88. If you have $100 in your account, there’s a whole lot of living to be done on $88, but because they’re doing so well, many people with $25,000 won’t chase it down. That’s what American big business does on the consumer level, only with millions of dollars keeping them stupid. The numbers are too high to worry about that $88. That’s why it’s pretty easy to make a play for it. How?

The marketing of big American business often includes some insulting hyperbole about customer service being the first priority, and that the company appreciates your business. It’s just talk though, especially from people like electric companies, who truly have no competition if you can’t avoid a solar conversion. More often than not, when I ask a company’s agent behind the counter or on the telephone to hold up to the supposed ideal, they have no script, no plan. The first reaction can be to start handing over that $88 to you. It doesn’t mean much to them, because most people won’t complain and it’s worth it to buy off the headache being created by this weird guy.

Here are some examples:

My first nephew was born back in the 90s. In visiting with him when he was a baby, I had occasion to share Social Tea cookies with him. Someone thought they were decent baby cookies. I hadn’t had them before and I rather liked them. I started to buy them myself. Over time, I noticed how often they would be broken by the time I got to open the package. Enjoying writing letters and such, I wrote to the president (always to the president) of Nabisco, the manufacturer. In my most creative and desperate language, I opined about the quality control at their plant. I continued by explaining how distressing it was to be purchasing broken cookies every week, and how embarrassing it had been for me, trying to serve Social Teas in halves. They thought I was an old lady. I would have to be, right? The letter I received from Nabsico had “Ms.” and “Ma’am” all over it and was enclosed with coupons for free boxes of Social Teas.

I bought a pair of Bass shoes once. Within a very short time, the sole had separated at the back of one of them, forming a “mouth” that would flap when I walked. Maybe they weren’t that expensive, but I expected them to last a year, not a few months. I wrote to the president of the company and explained how humiliating it had been to have a certain attractive young lady in my office laugh uncontrollably at the quality of my footwear. I continued by telling him how I’d tossed the receipt after I bought the shoes, but wanted to know what could be done. I also asked him why I shouldn’t tell everyone that would listen never to buy Bass shoes because of the quality problem. I got free shoes.

The killer is this one. Last year, I had H&R Block prepare our tax returns. They jacked up the New York State return and somehow, it was never filed electronically. After months and months had passed without receiving a refund check, I looked into it. What followed was the most infuriating buck passing act I had ever seen. In the process, I observed some of the most blatant disregard of “customer policy” of any company I’d ever done business with. I wrote another letter, to the president of H&R Block, of course, and described the ordeal. I included every conceivable detail about the cretins in the local office, how they had trivialized my concerns and despite the exorbitant cost of the preparation, made my returns and refunds my problem, not theirs. Within a week, I had district managers calling me. In another week, things started to move along. Before long, I got my New York State refund and a coupon for free tax preparation from H&R block for my 2006 returns. With all the special tax situations I end up in with self-employment and filing in multiple states, it’s going to save me about $350 this year. All for writing a letter.

The moral is that you should always complain. If you want something for your trouble, ask for it. Online retailers are especially flexible. There’s plenty of money, products and service in the budget of most big companies to keep up appearances. If more people did what I do, that budget would disappear, but the companies would be more accountable. Either way, everybody would win. Give it try next time you feel slighted as a customer. There might be $88 in it for you.